Thu 20 Jul 2017
SF Stories I’m Reading: DAVID GERROLD “The Thing in the Back Yard.”
Posted by Steve under Science Fiction & Fantasy , Stories I'm Reading[6] Comments
DAVID GERROLD “The Thing in the Back Yard.” First published in Fantasy & Science Fiction, Sept-Oct 2014. Collected in Entanglements and Terrors (DG Media, softcover, 2015).
For an author who’s been around for almost 50 years (I believe his firs published work was “Oracle for a White Rabbit,” which appeared in the December 1968 issue of Galaxy SF), why has it taken so long for me to have read anything he’s written? (I have seen the Tribbles episode he wrote for Star Trek, but then so has every SF fan in the world, at least those of a certain age.)
Better late than never, I say, and “The Thing in the Back Yard” begins in very familiar territory: Bob’s Big Boy restaurant in Toluca Lake CA, a true landmark of its kind. I’ve never stopped in, but I’ve passed by in a car many, many times. This is where the narrator of the story tells his friend Pesky Dan Goodman about the problem he’s been having with burglars getting into his home and stealing stuff.
Pesky Dan Goodman’s solution: hire a troll. Not a mere garden gnome, but a real life troll. Big mistake. Trolls grow, and the more you hate them, the more they grow. And the more territorial they get.
“Last time I trusted you, I nearly got my passport revoked –”
“Clerical error. You did get it straightened out, didn’t you?
“Only because my sister is on first-name terms with our congressman.”
“Well, there you are. No harm, no foul.”
“I don’t think you’re getting my point.”
“Sure I am. You need security. Emmett-Murray needs a quiet little corner. You won’t even know he’s there.
This falls into the category of Famous Last Words. This also is the funniest story I’ve read so far this year.
July 20th, 2017 at 5:43 am
There used to be a Bob’s Big Boy in Bethesda across the road (more or less) from the Hyatt Regency, where Malice Domestic was held starting in 1990 (I believe). It was a favorite of former DAPA-EMmer (the late) Jim McCahery, and I remember eating breakfast there with him two or three times.
July 20th, 2017 at 9:56 am
The nearest Big Boy restaurant to me in CT is now in Cleveland. Just over 200 of them still exist, most of them in Michigan, including my home town of Cadillac. There are five in the L.A. area, and after that, essentially nowhere else. There used to be thousands, all across the country.
July 20th, 2017 at 8:30 am
David Gerrold recently was honored by F&SF in the September-October, 2016 issue. It was the first special author issue by the magazine in over a decade. But like Steve, I haven’t read much by him.
July 20th, 2017 at 10:00 am
Strangely enough I don’t remember that issue, and it was only last year. After Borders went out of business I stopped buying all of the digest magazines for a while, both SF and mystery. It wasn’t until the local Barnes and Noble finally started carrying then on a regular basis that I starting buying them again, and even better, reading them.
July 20th, 2017 at 4:16 pm
I can recommend anything of Gerrold’s that you can find. His early paperbacks are quite good; he more recently published a couple series of “juvenile SF” novels that I really enjoyed; and he and Ctein are currently working on a collaborative novel.
I wasn’t aware of the story you mention here and am glad to hear of it.
July 20th, 2017 at 9:54 pm
David is a fine writer and a great guy. His work long ago outdistanced Tribbles, though he will never live them down — not that he wants to.