Mon 27 Jul 2020
SHOOT ’EM UP. New Line Cinema, 2007. Clive Owen, Paul Giamatti, Monica Bellucci. Screenwriter-director: Michael Davis.
There’s a host of other people in this movie, mostly of them ending up dead, but the three that I listed above are all that really matter. Clive Owen is the man who witnesses a pregnant woman being run down and attacked; he rescues her, she dies, but somehow in the confusion he manages to deliver the baby. He needs assistance, and quickly, but where? Monica Bellucci as Donna Quintano, a prostitute who agrees to help.
Their problems are not over, however. Paul Giamatti, as brilliant as always, is the head of the squad of men who are on their trail from that point on — until the end of the movie, and who end up wholly frustrated in what turns out to be an entirely useless chase. For as we all know, the good guys always aim right the first time, and the bad guys couldn’t hit the inside of a barn from inside the barn.
Cannon fodder is all they are. What seems like thousands of bodies pile up, but I’m sure I read somewhere that there were only 150. Some people have little else to do with their time than to create statistics like this. Don’t look at me. All I did was watch it.
The sexy scenes are minimal. There are a few gross out scenes, that is true, but other than that, this is a movie filled with non-stop movie violence. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
What I think is that this is a even better Jack Reacher film than Jack Reacher, the film itself, the one with a pint-sized Tom Cruise trying to fill Jack Reacher’s shoes. He did surprisingly OK, but Clive Owen does an even better job playing an antisocial and psychotic hero, the kind of guy who drifts into town and waits for trouble to find him.
Which it certainly does in this film, along with a girl who detests him at first — no, that’s unfair — actively dislikes him, but then as she’s also caught up in their plight together, she learns to like him a lot better.
My purpose here is not to tell you how much I liked this film, or not, but to let you know what to expect if you decide to watch it anyway, in which case, my job is done.

July 27th, 2020 at 10:22 pm
Looks like a John Woo movie/homage/ripoff, which could be a good thing.
July 27th, 2020 at 11:34 pm
My motto is, if you’re going to homage/ripoff anyone, you do it to the best,
July 28th, 2020 at 6:11 am
This was another favorite of Bill Crider’s – I’m sure he raved about it on his blog – and I agree with him. I wasn’t expecting much until I read Bill’s review, but when we watched the movie we enjoyed it a lot. As Bill pointed out (I think; it’s been a while) this was more like a Road Runner cartoon than anything else. It’s fun, and has a cute baby.
July 28th, 2020 at 8:44 am
Luckily Bill’s blog is still on line. Here’s the link:
https://billcrider.blogspot.com/2008/03/shoot-em-up.html
His review begins thusly:
“Okay, this movie is preposterous. It starts out a mile or so over the top and then builds from there, sort of a live-action WB cartoon. No wonder I liked it.”
And ends with this:
“Obviously some people aren’t going to find the humor in a movie like this. I, on the other hand, laughed all the way through. You probably know where you stand on that kind of thing, but I thought I’d better warn you.”
July 28th, 2020 at 12:40 pm
I knew I remembered Bill loving it. Thanks for finding his review.
July 28th, 2020 at 12:44 pm
This is a review I wrote maybe six years ago and never posted. I’m going to have to watch it again!
July 28th, 2020 at 7:23 pm
Close your higher faculties and enjoy the ride with a capable cast and enough action, stunts, and distraction to keep you going.
But don’t dare think about it.
July 31st, 2020 at 7:33 pm
Here’s my review from 2009:
https://jamesreasoner.blogspot.com/2009/04/shoot-em-up.html
I liked it a lot.
July 31st, 2020 at 8:29 pm
Thanks for the link, James. You’re right. Either you love this one, or you hate it.
Time to watch it again!