L. A. MORSE The Old Dick. Jake Spanner #1. Avon, paperback original 1981. Made for TV movie: Jake Spanner, Private Eye (USA Network, 1989, with Robert Mitchum as Jake Spanner).

   There have been a number of detectives in the world of mystery fiction whom you’ve have to call “elderly,” but at age seventy-eight . I think Jake Spanner has most of them beat. Miss Marple, I believe, was up in her eighties when she was still active, and some of you with better memories than mine can probably come up with more right away.

   But how many of these would you all hard-boiled private eyes? In his own words, Jake Spanner has always tried never to give satisfaction to assholes, if he could help it, and now that he’s retired, he see no reason to change.

   He hasn’t had an erection in five years, either, or so he says at the beginning of chapter one. How old he is soon begins to sound like an obsession with him, but with old duffers like this, sometimes you just put up with things like that a little bit more.

   Spanner comes out of retirement in this book, as you would have guessed, but throughout it all, he remains pretty much surprised by it. At any rate, he decides to give a helping hand to a one-time enemy from the old days, a gangster known as Sal the Salami (for reasons we won’t go into here). It seems that his grandson has been kidnapped, complication begin to develop and thrive, deliciously so.

   I don’t know who the author is. If someone were to tell me it’s not his first book, that he’s written loads of others, I wouldn’t be surprised at all. L. A. Morse, whoever he is, has an inventive touch that adds tremendously to a rather familiar story, plus a consistent style and a slightly vulgar sense of humor to match.

   There are some books in which you’re lucky to get one of the above.

Rating: A minus.

–Very slightly revised from The MYSTERY FANcier, Vol. 5, No. 6, Nov/Dec 1981.