BULLET IN THE FACE. Independent Film Channel, August 16-17, 2012. IFC Original / Just For Laughs Television and Muse Entertainment Enterprise in Association with Alan Spencer & Company. Cast: Max Williams as Gunter Vogler, Kate Kelton as Martine/Lilly, Eddie Izzard as Tannhauser, Eric Roberts as Racken, Neil Napier as Hagerman, and Jessica Steen as Commissioner Eva Braden. Developed, Executive Produced and Written by Alan Spenser. Directed and Co-Executive Produced by Erik Canuel. Music by James Gelfand. Theme “Dispatch” written, produced and performed by Amanda Bauman and Patrick Doyle (Courtesy of AmA music). [Series is available online for purchase.]

   Bullet in the Face is a comedy developed and written by Alan Spencer. Spencer is best known for his over the top comedy Sledge Hammer, a series that broadly mocked the TV cop shows. Here Spencer takes on neo-noir. The result is an at times funny but always strange series featuring excessive violence with graphic language and enough gore and blood to satisfy Sam Peckinpah and Quentin Tarantino.

   It helps (as with any satirical comedy) to be aware of the genre. The series’ targets include such neo-noir movies as Frank Miller’s Sin City and crime graphic novels by such writers as Ed Brubaker. Fans of film directors John Woo and Luc Besson as well as mystery writers such as Duane Swierczynski will enjoy this series.

   Set in the corrupt city of Bruteville, Tannhauser, an agoraphobic evil mastermind with a fondness for snow globes, is trying to take over the city now under the control of old school mobster Racken.

   The story begins with psychopath Gunter learning his lover and equal psychopath Martine is pregnant. This complicates his life as their boss Tannhauser has ordered him to kill her after they rob a jewelry store. During the robbery, the city’s hero cop arrives. Gunter kills the cop but is betrayed and shot in the face by Martine on Tannhauser’s orders.

   Gunter wakes up in a police hospital with a new face, the face of the good guy cop he had killed. Seems the female police Commissioner loved the cop (the cop didn’t return her affections, he spent all his time with men). So hoping for another chance, she had his face transplanted onto Gunter and gives Gunter the opportunity to go after those who had betrayed him.

   The acting matches the exaggerated humor of the script and the cartoonishness of the characters. Max Williams plays Gunter with the appropriate hamminess and silly German accent.

   Kate Kelton as Martine/Lilly is the love of the life of three men, Gunter, Tannhauser and Racken. Each man thinks he is the father of her unborn child. Kelton matches Williams’ Gunter in insanity and accent.

   Here is a clip with Kate Kelton and Eddie Izzard. Warning, it contains adult language: http://www.ifc.com/bullet-in-the-face/videos/bullet-in-the-face-killer-species

      [Editorial Comment: I’ve been unable to view the video at this link. I’ve included it in Michael’s review in the hope that others may succeed where I seem to fail.]

   It is Izzard and Roberts as the two mobsters that steal the show. Eddie Izzard is a bizarre delight as Tannhauser. When asked if he thought he was God, he answered, “No, God thinks He is me.”

   Eric Roberts is equally wonderful as the old school mobster Racken, who keeps a scrapbook of photos of cops he had killed. Racken does not approve of Tannhauser’s style, “He’s not a normal criminal, probably never had a hoagie in his life.”

   Jessica Steen convincingly plays the sexually frustrated, boss from Hell, Police Commissioner Eva Braden who has her own unique ways of trying to keep Bruteville safe from a possible mob war.

   Neil Napier is Gunter’s police partner Hagerman, an easy to cry, absurdly righteous cop who had been partner to the man Gunter killed, the man whose face is now Gunter’s. Hagerman is hated for his decency and Napier plays him with a delightful goofiness that adds a layer of humor to the character.

         EPISODE GUIDE

“Meet Gunter Vogler” (8/16/12) Guest Cast: Christopher Heyergahl and Maya Fuhr *** Sociopath Gunter is having a bad day. When his plan to rob a jewelry store and kill people goes wrong, his lover and mother of his unborn child shoots him in the face. To make matters worse Gunter wakes up with the face of a heroic cop he had killed.

   A very funny episode that wastes no time as it sets up the premise and characters.

   Sample of humor: When shown video of Matrine shooting him in the face, Gunter refuses to believe it. “Why would that woman shoot me? We had dinner reservations later.”

“Angel of Death” (8/16/12) Guest Cast: James Kidnie and Alix Sideris *** Priests are being murdered by the Angel of Death.

   Another fun episode as Gunter begins to enjoy his role as a cop as he seeks revenge against Tannhauser who is in hiding. This episode can offend many with its excessively irreverent treatment of the rituals of Christianity.

   Sample dialog: When the doctor (Alex Bisping) wishes to do oral surgery to help the face transplant take, Gunter reacts violently, “I killed the last dentist I went to and stole his car. His office still sends me a bill.”

“Drug of Choice” (8/16/12) Guest Cast: Robert Naylor and Marcel Jeannin *** Gunter attempts to mentor a young boy who had just murdered two people and a parakeet.

   Weakest episode of the series. While it advances the story arc, the humor usually falls flat.

   Sample dialog: While chasing the man who gave the kid the gun used in the killing, Hagerman calls out, “Fassbinder, we would like a few words with you, as well as some complete sentences.”

“Kiss Me Thrice” (8/17/12) Guest Cast: Heidi Foss and Jason Cavalier *** Racken recruits Gunter to kill Tannhauser.

   This episode has some great scenes such as during a catfight between Martine and a huge woman, Martine wins by reminding her opponent she’s pregnant every time the other woman comes close to hitting her.

   Sample dialog: Martine discovers Gunter is alive with another man’s face. She has a gun pointed at him, demanding he explain what is going on, Gunter ignores her and leaves. She screams after him “This is a real gun, not an abstract piece of art. It shoots bullets.”

“The World Stage” (8/17/12) Guest Cast: Debbie Wong and Kaoru Matsui *** A third group entrance finally sets off the drug war.

   The identity of the third group and its plan is comedic genius. Also watch for writer Alan Spencer’s cameo. Hitchcock would have been proud.

   Sample dialog: Racken defends himself to a PC Mobster (Larry Wilmore) who wonders if Racken is progressive enough, “I was the first guy to recruit kids from low-test score schools. It was like, it was like, no juvenile delinquents left behind.”

“Cradle To Grave” (8/17/12) Guest Cast: Miranda Handford and Andrew Campbell *** The gang war concludes and Martine gives birth.

   Nice final episode that resolves the story while lampooning the ending of another popular crime TV series.

   Sample dialog: The cops have fled the police station to escape a bomb. Gunter finds the bomb and tosses it out the window, killing all the cops outside. The Commissioner notes no one had to die. “True,” replies Gunter, “If they’d stayed inside, but instead they fled like yellow kittens from a Korean butcher.”

   While many will find the series offensive, it is a funny parody of neo-noir (a genre many find offensive). As in true neo-noir the language, sex, violence, and situations are extremely graphic, but I enjoyed watching the story Gunter described as a rollercoaster ride designed by Kafka.

   At the time of this posting IFC still had information and clips for the series available at the network’s website.

CASABLANCA. NBC, 1983. David L. Wolper Production in association with Warner Brothers Television. Cast: David Soul as Rick Blaine, Hector Elizondo as Captain Louis Renault, Reuven Bar-Yotam as Ferrari, Ray Liotta as Sacha, Scatman Crothers as Sam, Arthur Malet as Carl, Patrick Horgan as Major Strasser, and Kai Wolff as Lt Heinz. Executive Producer: David L. Wolper, Supervising Producer: Howard Gast. Producer: Charles B. Fitzsimons.     ***     There was no on screen credit for who created or developed the series nor was there any on screen credit for the film or the play it was loosely based on.

   This was Warner Brothers second attempt to make a TV series based on the movie CASABLANCA (1942). The first attempt was in 1955 with the first TV program produced by Warner Brothers. WARNER PRESENTS was an early example of a wheel series with CASABLANCA rotating with CHEYENNE and KINGS ROW. For more information, read the informative article by Christopher Anderson at The Museum of Broadcast Communications site.

   CASABLANCA (1983) was a limited series of five episodes and served as a pilot for a possible weekly series. But bad ratings resulted in NBC removing the series from its schedule after the third episode. The final two episodes were shown months later.

   OK, I am going to assume everyone has seen the film CASABLANCA that starred Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman, Claude Rains, and Dooley Wilson. If not, do so. As far as I am concerned, CASABLANCA is the best movie ever made.

   The setting remains the same, Casablanca French Morocco. The time is 1941, before Ilsa would return to Rick’s life. Rick Blaine, owner of Rick’s Café Americain, Casablanca’s most popular nightclub, has no interest in the War or politics. All he wants to do is run his saloon and mind his own business, something the rest of the world has no intention of letting him do.

   The casting was a problem with this series. David Soul as Rick Blaine? I always enjoy watching Hector Elizondo and here he is a good Claude Rains. But that was the problem the cast faced, none of the actors could match our memories of their characters as played by the original cast of the film.

   The most appealing aspect of the series was the look, thanks to Oscar award winner director of photography Joseph Biroc (TOWERING INFERNO, IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE, HAMMETT) and Oscar winning production designer E. Preston Ames (GIGI, AN AMERICAN IN PARIS, LADY IN THE LAKE). The exterior scenes were weak in comparison and obvious studio lots. The costumes, transportation and heavy use of period music kept us in the time and place, though the original background music rarely helped.

          EPISODE INDEX:

“Who Am I Killing?” April 10, 1983. Sunday at 10-11pm (Eastern). Written by James M. Miller. Directed by Ralph Senensky. Guest Cast: Trisha Noble and Christopher Mahar *** Nazi Major Strasser’s romantic crush on Café Americain’s British born singer causes her problems. Like Rick, she doesn’t want to get involved with the politics of the day. Meanwhile, a recently shot down British pilot is wounded and being hunted by the Nazis. The pilot may die without special medicine available only on the Black Market.

   Looked great but with no substance. Predictable. Not one original twist or thought in entire episode. Director Senensky discusses the behind the scene filming of this episode here at his blog.

Ratings: 13.5 with a 24 share. Opposite: ABC SUNDAY NIGHT MOVIE (“Altered States”) 14.2 with a 23 share (average for the two hours) and CBS aired repeat of TRAPPER JOHN 19.8 with a 34 share.

“Master Builder’s Woman.” April 17, 1983. Sunday at 10-11pm. Written by Bob Foster. Directed by Robert Lewis. Guest Cast: Madolyn Smith and Martina Deignan. *** Nazi top Engineer and his female companion arrive in Casablanca. His plans could change the war in Northern Africa. An American woman reporter wants Rick’s help in finding French Resistance fighter Andre Andre.

   The story had its moments but was fatally limited by its predictability and weak acting from some of the guest cast especially Martina Deignan as the female reporter. This episode won the Emmy for Best Cinematography in a Series for Joseph Biroc. A deserving choice.

Ratings: 8.6 with a 15 share (ranked 72 out of 74 series). Opposite: ABC SUNDAY MOVIE (“Mountain Men”) 17.5 with a 28 share (#18) and CBS aired (repeat) of TRAPPER JOHN 21.5 with a 38 share (#8).

“Jenny.” April 24, 1983. Sunday at 10-11pm. Written by Chester Krumholz. Directed by Mel Stuart. Guest Cast: Shanna Reed and Daniel Pilon *** Rick falls for a whore that reminds him of Ilsa. A Gestapo agent believes someone in Casablanca is selling German war secrets to the British.

   This episode was the best of the series. It had spies, murder, political intrigue, humor, and a love story, everything you’d want from a TV series called CASABLANCA.

Ratings: 12.0 with a 20 share. Opposite ABC programming (unknown) and CBS repeat of TRAPPER JOHN 19.1 with a 32 share.

“The Cashier and the Belly Dancer.” August 27, 1983. Saturday at 10-11pm. Written by Nelson Gidding. Directed by Ralph Senensky. Guest Cast: Melinda O. Fee and Michael Horton *** Rick’s customers have left him for the new belly dancer at the Blue Parrot. The wife of Rick’s cashier believes her husband is doing more with the belly dancer than watch her dance.

   A weak caper story with an ending that is unbelievable and reduces the threat of the Nazis to the level of Colonel Klink and HOGAN’S HEROES. Director Senensky did a better job than the writer and cast. You can read his experiences about this episode at his blog.

Ratings: 7.0 with a 14 share (66th out of 67). Opposite: ABC aired repeat of FANTASY ISLAND 16.5 with a 32 share (#6) and CBS NFL PRESEASON FOOTBALL 10.7 with a 22 shared (average over entire program).

“Divorce Casablanca Style.” September 3, 1983. Saturday at 10-11pm. Written by Harold Gast. Directed by Robert Lewis. Guest Cast: Persis Khambatta and Zitto Kazann. *** Rick finds himself in the middle between a husband and wife and the Muslim culture while trying to take care of smuggled guns for an old friend.

   The series always featured two plots in each episode that would merge at the end of the hour. This episode took on the serious issue of women’s rights in 1940’s Muslim world and shoved it together with a gratuitous second story of Rick taking care of a friend, an old Ethiopian General who was apparently tricked into storing smuggled guns. Information was revealed heavy-handedly as there was no time to develop either story properly.

Ratings: 7.1 with a 15 share (#61 out of 62). Opposite: ABC College Football 10.2 with a 22 share (average over program) and CBS Saturday Night Movies (Country Gold) 11.8 with a 24 share.

   I remember watching the first episode in 1983 and hating it. I am more forgiving now towards the cast, writers and directors, realizing how absurd the very idea is of attempting to recreate the magic of the film CASABLANCA as a TV series. But even by a different name, this remains a TV series that deserved to die.

“Dead Air.” From the CSI: Crime Scene Investigation series. Season 13, Episode 11. First broadcast: 16 January 2013. Regular cast: Ted Danson (D. B. Russell), Elisabeth Shue (Julie Finlay), George Eads (Nick Stokes), Paul Guilfoyle (Captain Jim Brass), Jorja Fox (Sara Sidle), Eric Szmanda (Greg Sanders), Robert David Hall (Dr. Robbins), David Berman (David Phillips), Wallace Langham (David Hodges), Elisabeth Harnois (Morgan Brody), Jon Wellner (Henry Andrews). Guest cast: Alex Carter (Detective Vartann), Daniel Roebuck (Fred Paulsen), Spencer Grammer (Ella St. James), Lenny Jacobson (Denny Jones), Abigail Klein (Rainy Days), Jacob Zachar (Chad Lane), Danielle Bisutti (Theresa Shea), Tom Choi (Director), Richard Blake (Robbie), Felisha Terrell (Competitive Reporter). Writer: Joe Pokaski. Director: Phil Conserva.

   Theresa Shea is a no-nonsense investigative reporter presently marking time as the anchor at a Las Vegas TV station. Until somebody murders her, she is hot on the trail of an arsonist who created chaos and death in the Vegas area seventeen years ago. As the CSI team will discover, Theresa was universally hated by everyone who knew her, meaning there’s no shortage of suspects.

   And her murder is no ordinary event: During a live broadcast during a major storm, while Theresa is alone in the broadcast room with only robot cameras, there is a power transient and the lights go out. When they come back on, after a moment she collapses across her desk — “really,” as they say in The Wizard of Oz, “most sincerely dead.”

   In the twenty seconds it takes to restore the lighting, somehow a murderer has crept up behind her and expertly shoved a knife blade into her neck, severing her brain stem and rendering her speechless until she dies a few seconds later. When the lights return, she’s sitting there convulsing until she finally falls over.

   Belatedly the director orders they cut to commercial, too late for the viewers at home. As head CSI agent D. B. Russell characterizes it, “We have a locked-room murder with a million witnesses.”

   But the “million witnesses” have really seen no more than the crew in the control room.

   Suspecting the blackout was no coincidence, Russell decides to track down the source of the power outage. Not far from the TV station he finds an exploded transformer, destroyed not by a lightning strike as is usually the case but by explosives triggered by a cell phone signal. “This,” he says, “took patience.”

   Add to the locked-room problem the twists and turns of lying field reporters, a brow-beaten assistant, an emotionally unstable TV station technician, and a code-breaking sequence (the code here being the outmoded Gregg shorthand system) and you have pleasant echoes of the Golden Age of Detection.

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IMDb.com

http://www.examiner.com

THE FIFTH CORNER. NBC, 1992. Tri-Star Television / John Herzfeld Production / Adelson and Baumgarter Production. Cast: Alex McArthur as Fifth Corner, James Coburn as Dr. Grandwell, Kim Delaney as Erica Fontaine, J.E. Freeman as Boone, and Anthony Valentine as The Hat. Creator and Executive Producer: John Herzfeld, Executive Producers: Gary Adelson and Craig Baumgarter, Supervising Producer: Bruce Zabel. Producer: Paul Pompian, Co-Producer: Robert Florio. Music by David Michael Frank.

   Over at YouTube I found a clip for the forgotten TV series THE FIFTH CORNER:

   As a fan of spy and noir fiction, I was hooked. The series itself was short lived with six hours filmed (two hour TV Movie and four hour long episodes). NBC cancelled it and took it off the air after its second week leaving three of the hour-long episodes unaired.

   I have found a copy of all six hours in the Collector’s market at sell.com.

   John Herzfeld (DR. VEGAS) created a flawed but delightful mystery, full of clues, red herrings, twists, macguffins, betrayals, sex and violence. His most serious mistake was taking the cynical hardboiled spy noir story and telling it with the emotional, express-your-feelings style of the early 90s.

   The man with amnesia had many names. His evil co-workers called him George, but to simplify things we will call him by the nickname they had given him, Fifth Corner. He was called the Fifth Corner because when there was no way out he would find one.

   Star Alex McArthur (RAMPAGE) played Fifth Corner like the typical early 90s male hero, the sensitive man, intense, emotional, not afraid to cry. Fifth Corner had been a top spy and ruthless killer but when he loses his memory McArthur’s version becomes an emotional wreck. This unlikely change for the character cost the character much of its appeal and believability. In his favor, McArthur seemed to find the character’s stronger side as the series progressed.

   Fans of Kim Delany (NYPD BLUE) will enjoy her wardrobe or lack of, as she does what she can with the stereotypical character of the beautiful, headstrong, independent woman who becomes the hero’s love interest. To add to her challenge her character, saxophone playing, NY Times reporter Erica Fontaine had some of the most out of place dialog in the series such as, “I never let down my guard, but with you I dropped it like a whore’s nightgown.”

   J.E. Reeder (MILLER’S CROSSING) was convincing as Fifth Corner’s sidekick. But the character was weakened by too many quirks, the lover of take-out food, comic book reader, AA member with a fear of bad breath who lives in the front seat of the limo. Attempts to comment of Fifth Corner’s problems by mirroring them with Boone’s problems from his past did not work. The bit with Boone being a former op of The Corporation who fell in love with the wife of the last man he killed was a gratuitous side-trip from the all ready complicated story.

   I am a fan of James Coburn (DAIN’S CURSE) especially when he is using his cool laid-back persona as he does here as evil billionaire Dr Grandwell, a man who never lets a life or country get in his way of making money. I do wish the story had spent more time with Grandwell and his mysterious beautiful, blind, female companion (Julia Nickson-Soul, BABYLON 5).

   Grandwell’s second in command “The Hat” (Anthony Valentine, CALLAH) might have worked as a noir character but the bit with the hat was too silly visually. His minions all had the proper noir background, the blonde femme fatale (Madchen Amick, TWIN PEAKS), the femme fatale’s killer boy toy (Mark Joy, DOGMA) the psychopath Cristoph Ohrt, (EDEL & STARCK), and the good solider (Voyo, RAMBO FIRST BLOOD PART 2).

   David Michael Frank’s (ABOVE THE LAW) soundtrack was delightfully appropriate for film noir. The one exception was his original song, “Hold Onto That Feeling” (co-written with Robert Jason who performed it) for the episode “Home” that as a bad sentimental 90s pop song may have fit the melodrama of the episode, had no place in a spy-noir TV series.

         EPISODE INDEX:

“Trio.” (April 17, 1992) Friday, 9pm-11pm (Eastern). Written and directed by John Herzfeld. Guest Cast: Sergio Calderon *** A man who lost his memory finds himself tied to the murder of a woman and a larger conspiracy. He discovers he has many names, one of which is the nickname Fifth Corner. A beautiful redhead named Erica is on his trail. Everyone wants his mysterious diary (a laptop with details of all his assignments). His evil boss Grandwell wants him back working for The Corporation, which disappoints Fifth Corner’s rival The Hat who wants him dead.

   Each episode featured a self-contained mystery involving another persona of Fifth Corner. We began with the name Richard Braun, but then switched to George Thompson. The mystery was who killed the woman “Richard” woke up with in bed, and why she was killed. “George” switched our attention to Grandwell and the mystery of who the Fifth Corner was.

   The TV movie was fun, if flawed. As with most spy-noir fiction, the story was not overburdened with reality. The murder mystery was solved and Fifth Corner, Erica and Boone joined together to take on Dr. Grandwell and his evil corporation.

Ratings: 16 share. Opposite: ABC aired repeat DINOSAURS (20), repeat BABY TALK (20) and new 20/20 (27). CBS had a repeat of JANEK “Murder Times Seven (1990) (15). FOX had a new SIGHTINGS (13), repeat TOTALLY HIDDEN VIDEO (9) and turned 10-11pm over to local stations.

“Eva.” (April 24, 1992) Friday, 10-11pm Written by John Herzfeld. Directed by Albert Pyun. Guest Cast: Peter Kwong and Tim Thomerson. *** Fifth Corner (aka “George”) search for his wife Eva is interrupted when he is arrested as Jack Previn for the murder of a Japanese electronic genius. He is about to be extradited to Japan when the blonde who works for The Hat arrives and post bail.

   The new name is Jack Previn and the mystery is the death of a Japanese inventor and his missing amazing electronic gadget. The arc story of Fifth Corner’s search for his identity and Erica’s obsession about bringing down Grandwell continue as the series primary focus.

Ratings: 13 share. Opposite: ABC aired new 20/20 (26), CBS had repeat BURT REYNOLDS SPECIAL (15), and FOX turned the time over to local stations.

“Home.” (never aired). Written by John Herzfeld and Bryce Zabel. Directed by Sam Pillsbury. Guest Cast: Barbara Barrie and Chris Allport *** While Fifth Corner continues to search for his identity Grandwell has erased all evidence of Erica’s existence. Fifth Corner may have found his family and his name, John Avlean. The mob is moving in on John’s big brother’s restaurant. When the Fifth Corner and Boone take on the mob, things go wrong.

   This week’s name is John Avlean and the mystery deals with the mob’s attempt to take over John’s big brother’s restaurant.

   This episode suffers from too much emotional melodrama but the scene where Fifth Corner and Boone take on the mob was full of style and shocking surprises that made the scene one of the best moments of the series.

“Woman at Her Toilette.” (unaired). Written by Leslie Bohem and John Herzfeld. Directed by Gabrielle Beaumont. Guest Cast: Marina Sirtis, and Frank Stallone *** Grandwell wants the painting he had Anthony Parachini (Fifth Corner) steal for him. Fifth Corner can’t remember where the painting is, but finds yet another identity, Jean Michel, that leads him to it. To complicate things, a hit squad arrives to kill Grandwell, and Anthony and get the painting. To save Erica and get her life back, Fifth Corner makes a deal with Grandwell.

   Two new names are featured, Anthony who worked for Grandwell and Jean who lead a secret life from Grandwell. The mystery is where is the painting.

   Perhaps the weirdest episode of the series, highlighted by Marina Sirtis (STAR TREK NEXT GENERATION) doing an erotic performance art piece for Fifth Corner, Erica, and Boone that had nothing to do with the story or arc.

“Sword of Damocles.” (never aired). Written and directed by John Herzfeld. Guest Cast: Paul Cain and Tianna Thorpe *** Fifth Corner had agreed never see Erica again if Grandwell restores her identity. When Erica learns of the deal, she rejects it, even if it means she will be killed. Grandwell remains in his forgiving mood in regard to Fifth Corner, but The Hat finally convinces Grandwell to let him kill Fifth Corner. Grandwell expects and hopes The Hat will fail.

   The last episode spares us a new name or mystery as we rush towards the resolution of Grandwell and Fifth Corner arc story. The final gunfight is the perfect example of where this series went wrong, as everyone was busy self-analyzing each other that the actual shooting was almost an afterthought. The series ends with many of the questions unanswered including the real name of Fifth Corner.

   While I recommend this series, if there ever was a TV series that needs to be remade it is THE FIFTH CORNER. This spy noir series was a great idea that deserved better.

      SOURCES:

Epguides.com

Tvtango.com

IMdb.com

“The Strategy of the Scorpion” (“La strategia dello scorpione”). From the Don Matteo series. Season 1, Episode 5. First broadcast 21 January 2000. Regular cast: Terence Hill (Don Matteo), Nino Frassica (Marshal Cecchini), Flavio Insinna (Captain Anceschi), Claudio Ricci (Nerino), Nathalie Guetta (Natalina), Francesco Scali (Pippo), and Pietro Pulcini (Ghisoni). Writer: Carlo Mazzotta. Director: Enrico Oldoini. In Italian with English subtitles (MHz International Mysteries series).

   Don Matteo is Italy’s answer to Father Brown. Terence Hill, who is most known to American audiences for his spaghetti Westerns, plays a parish priest with a knack for solving crime. Indeed, without Don Matteo many innocent people would be serving life sentences for murders they didn’t commit.

   Not that the police are idiots — they’re good at their jobs but basically lack the priest’s insight into situations.

   Take this episode, for instance. A prison inmate has evidently been murdered in his cell, with the valve handle from a boiler sticking out prominently from the middle of his spine. Since the dead man was known to have clashed with another prisoner (over, what else, a woman) and since this same man worked on the boiler, it looks like a simple case of murder for revenge.

   But for Don Matteo, the obvious discrepancies point in a different direction: the fact that the barred window of the victim was standing wide open in freezing weather; the upside down fingerprints on the window latch; the well-kept secret that the dead man had leukemia — all of these convince Don Matteo that this crime isn’t what it appears to be.

   Even after Don Matteo explains what actually happened, however, Captain Anceschi insists that without more solid evidence his solution will have to remain simply a theory.

   Such solid evidence is available, though, in the form of two eyewitnesses who can give the accused man an alibi — but if they do so, it will cost them dearly.

   If you know what a scorpion does when it’s in a hopeless situation (and I didn’t), you might be able to solve this one halfway through.

   Don Matteo has already run in Italy for eight seasons; a ninth one is scheduled for 2013. It’s a mixed bag: usually the whodunits are easily figured out, but on occasion they’re real head-scratchers. The humor is often forced, with the best by-play between the Marshal and the Captain.

   (Passing thoughts: Perhaps only in Italy could a priest enter a prison carrying a large sack of what he says are gifts and not be stopped for a search. As for the prison facilities: American criminals should have it so good.)

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IMDb series listing: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0178132/

CBS has announced that the January 14th episode of HAWAII FIVE-0 will let viewers select the ending to a murder mystery. There will be three suspects to vote for live on each coast using twitter. This means the ending on the East Coast could be different from the one the West Coast picks. All three different endings will be available to see on cbs.com afterwards.

Deadline.com

Hollywood Reporter

NOTE: Thanks and a tip of the hat to Michael Shonk for the information above!

MISS FISHER’S MURDER MYSTERIES. Season One, 2012; 13 one-hour episodes; Australian Broadcasting Corporation / Every Cloud Production / Screen Australia / Film Victoria / All3Media. Cast: Essie Davis as Miss Phryne Fisher, Nathan Page as Detective Inspector John “Jack” Robinson, Ashleigh Cummings as Dorothy “Dot” Williams, Hugo Johnstone-Burt as Constable Hugh Collins, Miriam Margolyes as Aunt Prudence, Nicholas Bell as Murdoch Foyle. Based on the Phryne Fisher mystery series by Kerry Greenwood. Executive Producers: Fiona Eagger, Deb Cox, Carole Sklan and Christopher Gist.

   MISS FISHER’S MURDER MYSTERIES is a delightful traditional (not a cozy) mystery series that rivals the British visually and in quality of the production. Reportedly, the series’ budget was $1 million per episode, and it shows. Eleven of the thirteen episodes were adapted from books by Kerry Greenwood, who assisted and supports the TV series.

   The story is set in 1928 Melbourne Australia and the series attention to details of the time and place such as costumes, sets, locations, transportation, language and social customs is as obsessive as AMC’s MAD MEN for 1960s New York.

   The Canadian TV network Knowledge’s website has some interesting video features about the making of this series. You can find these same video extras and more at the YouTube channel phrynefishertv.

   In addition to the engaging mysteries, MISS FISHER takes a serious look at the social issues of the time, but with a sense of adventure and humor that makes the stories enjoyable to watch. The episodes are for mature audiences due to subject matter.

   Most of the episodes feature a stand-alone murder mystery, but there is an arc story running in the background that often surfaces. Phryne grew up in a poor but titled family. While in Phryne’s care, her little sister Jane disappeared, never to be seen again. Murdoch Foyle, the man Phryne blames for Jane’s disappearance, is about to get out of prison after serving his time for abducting another young girl. Phryne has returned to Melbourne after years abroad to make sure Foyle stays in jail until he hangs.

   Phryne is now rich, as all her rich relatives were killed during WW1, but she never forgets her past. Combine with her guilt over what happened to her sister, Phryne often takes on injustice, especially on the side of the lower classes. At the end of the first episode, after she had solved the murder of a rich businessman and stopped a butcher abortionist, Phryne decided to become a licensed PI. She realized she could help others while she searches for answers about her little sister.

   Essie Davis is a wonderful surprise capturing not only the look of the character in the books, but also the essence of The Honourable Miss Phryne (Fry-nee) Fisher, free-spirit, independent, young, beautiful, well dressed (during the series Phryne wore around 150 costumes), rich, female PI. Essie Davis described Phryne as “a cross between Sherlock Holmes in Guy Ritchie style, James Bond, and Wonder Woman.”

   The rest of the cast is equally talented and the characters appealing. Detective Jack Robinson slowly grows to respect Phryne’s ability as a PI, but never stops worrying about her recklessness as an action hero. The chemistry between Davis and Nathan Page is special.

   The romance between Hugh, the naïve young Protestant policeman, and Dot, Phryne’s young companion/maid and devout Catholic, adds a running subplot that can often be humorous while also illustrating the serious conflict between the Protestant and Catholics during this time period.

   Phryne encountered murder mysteries while traveling on a train, dancing in a jazz club, watching Gilbert and Sullivan on stage in Chinatown, a bookstore, and at the Circus. She dealt with drug smugglers, anarchists, Zionists, a ghost, blackmailers, an ancient Egyptian cult and delinquent teenage girls. She can fly a plane, drives a Hispano-Suiza automobile, can handle various weapons including her favorite gold, pearl handle pistol, and can challenge James Bond in number of lovers.

   Season One slowly introduced the supporting cast as they entered Phryne’s life, and the season ended with the solution of the mystery of Phryne’s sister. The writing was excellent with strong mysteries, exciting action, and delightful dialogue. In one episode, when asked if she has her gun with her, Phrynee replies, “Not with this dress.”

   The direction was equally well done and makes excellent use of the locations and sets with frequent use of master shots (when the director starts with a wide shot taking in the background and actors, then slowly moves in closer to focus on the actors and action).

   The soundtrack featured a mix of jazz music recordings from the period by artists such as Duke Ellington, Jelly Roll Morton and Paul Whiteman, as well as original music and theme by Greg J. Walker that fitted the time and place perfectly. If you enjoy 20s style jazz, you will want to listen to this series, especially the episode “The Green Mill Murder” set in a danc ehall. The soundtrack is available, but not yet here in America.

   Season One was a success and Season Two is planned. The series has aired in Canada and will air in the UK on Alibi. One can only hope MISS FISHER’S MURDER MYSTERIES will soon make it to America. The series has been released on DVD, but not in the American NTSC format.

   You can (for now) view full episodes at YouTube by searching for “Miss Fisher Murder Mysteries” (complete episodes in parts of fifteen minute or less) or click on the link for the full first episode (until YouTube takes it down) “Cocaine Blues.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aQFTJm3dmE

       ADDITIONAL SOURCES OF INFORMATION:

Australian Broadcasting Corporation website: http://www.abc.net.au/tv/phrynefisher

Book series website: http://www.phrynefisher.com

Interviews with writers and Essie Davis

http://if.com.au/2012/02/22/article/HYTJJLBZTO.html

http://www.fancygoods.com.au/andrew/2012/03/23/interview-deb-cox-on-miss-fishers-murder-mysteries

THE NEW ADVENTURES OF BEANS BAXTER. Fox, 1987-88. CAST: Jonathan Ward as Benjamin “Beans” Baxter Jr., Jerry Wasserman as Number Two, Stuart Fratkin as Woodshop, Karen Mistal as Cake Lase, Elinor Donahue as Susan Baxter, Kurtwood Smith as Mr. Sue, Scott Bremmer as “Scooter” Baxter, and Rick Lenz as Benjamin Baxter Sr. Theme composed by Joseph Vitarelli, Trumpet solo by Maynard Ferguson. Opening animation by International Rocketship Limited– Marv Newland. Creator/Executive Producer: Savage Steve Holland. Producer: Anthony Eaton.

   Recently, I had put on my Indiana Jones hat and went off to explore a land of lost treasures … my storage locker. There I found some ancient Kodak Videotapes, one of which contained three episodes of a forgotten favorite of my past … THE NEW ADVENTURES OF BEANS BAXTER.

   It is 1987 and Fox network had just begun. It had placed a lineup that included 21 JUMP STREET and MARRIED WITH CHILDREN on Sunday prime time. The network then turned to Saturday. Originally, Fox had announced its Saturday lineup, that included spy sitcom THE NEW ADVENTURES OF BEANS BAXTER, would premiere May 30 1987, but that was delayed until July (BEANS premiered on July 18, 1987). In the June 8, 1987 issue of “Broadcasting”, “FBC” (what the magazine called the Fox network) President James Kellner claimed the reason for the delay was so the network could focus all its promotional efforts on the encouraging ratings of the Sunday lineup.

   The original order for BEANS was for thirteen episodes (“Broadcasting” 7/13/87). The 8/17/87 issue of “Broadcasting” reported Fox had renewed BEANS and ordered thirteen episodes. While only seventeen episodes were aired, BEANS would remain on the air in reruns from December 1987 until April 1988.

   Beans Baxter was a typical 16-year old boy with a sitcom family of a younger brother, Mom and Dad. Dad worked for the Post Office or so the family thought. Dad’s new position forced the family to move from Kansas to Washington D.C. One day Beans sees his Father killed, then learns that his Dad is a spy and still alive. Dad works for the American spy organization called The Network. He had been kidnapped by an evil organization called UGLI. Network’s “Number Two” agrees to let Beans help find and save his Father.

   Beans would receive his assignments in ways mocking MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE and GET SMART, from a master of disguise who turns up in such places as a toilet seat cover dispenser in a men’s room stall or the family toaster.

   The series was a one-camera sitcom that featured silly, absurdist humor with little concern for reality or deep thought. Creator Savage Steve Holland off beat humor has been featured in such films as BETTER OFF DEAD (85) and animated kid series EEK THE CAT (92).

   The cast was believable, a challenge considering the scripts and premise, but beyond that nothing memorable. The opening animation for the theme by Marv Newland (BAMBI MEETS GOZILLA, GARY LARSON’S TALES FROM THE FAR SIDE), and theme music fitted the fun off beat silly mood of the series.

      EPISODES WATCHED:

“Beans Runs for President.” (8/1/87) Written and Directed by Savage Steve Holland. Guest Cast: Karen Haber, Taylor Negron, and Adrian Darval *** Beans must interrupt his campaign for High School President to save the daughter of the United States President who had been kidnapped by some angry Clowns.

   Silly, brain-dead fun. The daughter is doing something she believes in as she joins an anti-nuclear protest … she believes it is a great place to find a boyfriend. It was 1987 and Clowns were just beginning to become clichés, yet even today the visual humor, such as the group of Circus Clowns armed with machine guns patrolling the hideout, holds up.

Ratings: 3.2

   Opposite BEANS was ABC’s Movie CHAPTER TWO (79) repeat: 5.4; CBS’s Movie STILL IN THE NIGHT (82) (rating unknown); and NBC’s 227 repeat: 11.6

“Beans & Satanical Backwards Masking Conspiracy.” (8/8/87) Written and Directed by Savage Steve Holland. GUEST CAST: Dee Snider, Tim Stack and Lorraine Foreman *** Mother approved music is turning teenagers into evil demons lounge lizards who play the accordion. It is all a plot by Mr. Sue and UGLI to take over the World. Can Beans, Dee Snider and rock and roll save the day?

   A very funny Exorcist take off with Snider the perfect choice as the music Exorcist.

Ratings: 3.6

   Opposite BEANS was ABC’s THE ELLEN BURSTYN SHOW 4.8, CBS’ Movie GUILTY CONSCIENCE (85) repeat 6.8, and NBC’s 227 repeat 12.1

“Beans’ Wicked and Awesome Adventure at College.” (8/15/87) Written and Directed by Savage Steve Holland. Guest Cast: Ian Tracey, Amanda Wyss and Jennifer Stewart *** The Network is after a college student radical in search of information about UGLI. They want Beans to find out if the student radical’s ex-girlfriend and member of a college sorority know where he is.

   Cake is tired of Beans ditching her (due to his spy work) while they are on dates, so she decides to follow him. She becomes convinced he is gay. Confusion and misunderstandings cause much of the humor resulting in a weak stupid sitcom episode.

RATINGS: 3.3

   Opposite BEANS was ABC’s THE ELLEN BURSTYN SHOW at 3.3, CBS’ Movie CHASE repeat 10.6, and NBC’s 227 repeat 12.7.

   So does my old favorite hold up or disappoint? While THE NEW ADVENTURES OF BEANS BAXTER is nothing special, this mash-up of typical mindless 80s sitcom and spy thriller had enough moments to make me hope I have the rest of the episodes on tape somewhere in the forgotten areas of my storage locker. That maybe the only way to see them again as even the collectors market seems to have forgotten this one.

Additional Source: TvTango.com

“Not the Running Type.” From Alfred Hitchcock Presents: Season 5, Episode 19. First broadcast: 7 February 1960. Paul Hartman as Milton Potter, Robert Bray as Capt./Lt. Fisher, Bert Freed as Capt. Ellison, Wendell Holmes as Halverson, Herb Ellis as Lt. Hogan, O. Z. Whitehead as Mr. Newton, and Murray Alper as Ship Passenger. Based on a story by Henry Slesar (EQMM, January 1959). Teleplay by Jerry Sohl. Directed by Arthur Hiller.

   Capt. Fisher reminisces in a flashback about an old case he was assigned to as a new lieutenant. Milton Potter, a mild-mannered bank employee and just about the last man on earth anyone would suspect of doing such a thing, embezzled $200,000 from a bank 15 years ago.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzGLFcPDCMs

   Not long afterwards, Potter turns himself in, freely admitting that he took the money and still has it. What he won’t do, however, is tell the police where it is. Even after Capt. Ellison and Lt. Fisher offer him leniency if he’ll just cough up the boodle, Potter refuses and goes to prison.

   Back in the present, he has just been released — and only now does he tell the authorities where the money is.

   The final scene has Potter enjoying himself immensely aboard a cruise ship headed for the South Seas, where he will no doubt benefit from the nearly $200,000 he did NOT steal.

   All in all, an entertaining Hitchcock episode with zero violence content.

   Henry Slesar (1927-2002) had dozens of his stories adapted for TV and film, including 37 Alfred Hitchcock Presents episodes and 10 for The Alfred Hitchcock Hour.

The perfect theme and opening sets the mood, places the viewer in a time and place, and acts as a prologue to the series by establishing premise, characters and plot.

The primary purpose of any theme music is to establish mood. Arguably no one has done that better than PETER GUNN (Henry Mancini) and TWIN PEAKS (“Falling” by Angelo Badalamenti). The music from each are strongly identified with and continue to influence the soundtracks of a subgenre of mystery, PETER GUNN – the private eye

and TWIN PEAKS – the odd mystery with strange characters.

This is television not radio and visual images shown with the music matter. For example, THE WILD WILD WEST opening animation by Ken Mindie works perfectly with the music by Richard Markowitz.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tu-8W-Sredo

RUBICON opening with the distinctive music by Peter Neshel and clue filled opening titles (Karin Fong, Jeremy Cox, Theodore Daley, and Cara McKenney) prepared viewers for the intelligent spy drama to follow.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-tvBjh8z7k

Themes can feature lyrics of an established song such as “Who Are You? (Composer: Pete Townsend, performed by The Who) for CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION

or an original song created for the series such as ZORRO (George Bruns)

Some series have a closing theme such as BAT MASTERSON (Bart Corwin and Havens Wray).

This clip

from KING OF DIAMONDS is a trailer for the ZIV syndicated 1961-62 series starring Broderick Crawford. I believe, but can’t confirm, the song with the unforgettable lyrics was for the end credits. The on screen credit for the “Johnny King Theme” is hard to read but I believe it was William Donati. Here is a clip from the beginning of one episode:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rVqj0EK3pc

As for the role of the theme and opening to establish premise, characters, and plot, few did it better than REMINGTON STEELE with Henry Mancini’s music and Stephanie Zimbalist’s narration. (Surprisingly, there is no clip of this on YouTube, but you can watch a full episode for free at Hulu.com. I recommend any episode from Season One). Two other examples of this are PERSON OF INTEREST (JJ Abrams).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOnQ8CD3v4g

and PHILIP MARLOWE – PRIVATE EYE (“Marlowe’s Theme” by John Cameron and Samuel Matlovsky, performed by Moe Koffman, with Main Title Design by Maurice Binder).

Comedy mysteries openings often reflect the series comedy style such as THE ASSOCIATES (“Wall Street Blues” by A. Brooks, sung by BB King. A. Brooks is reportedly Albert Brooks)

and SIROTA’S COURT (composer: ?).

The theme and opening is an effective way to reflect a change in style or cast such as the following CHARLIE’S ANGELS from Season One:

Season Two:

and the recent remake:

Perhaps the most innovative example of this is the theme for multi-universe SF Cop show, FRINGE. The series combined JJ Abrams’ theme music with a Main Title Design that uses changes in color and picture to indicate the Universe and time each episode takes place.

It is impossible to write about television series themes without mentioning the man who shaped the sound of TV mystery action series during the last quarter of the Twentieth Century, Mike Post. Sometimes with Pete Carpenter, the prolific Post wrote the theme for countless TV mystery series including THE ROCKFORD FILES, MAGNUM P.I., A-TEAM, NYPD BLUE, MURDER ONE, LAW & ORDER, STINGRAY, and my favorite of his work, HILL STREET BLUES.

Some of my personal favorites include T.H.E. CAT (Lalo Schifrin) (Part 1 of 3 for full episode, theme appears around 5:38)

ELLERY QUEEN (Elmer Bernstein)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8MLfQRJQ40

COWBOY BEBOP (“Tank” by Yoko Kanno)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWk-VpK4hJo

and F/X THE SERIES (Christophe Beck, Season Two)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYK0VfwcekQ

What are your favorite theme and opening from past and present TV series?

SOURCES:

YouTube

Wikipedia

Hulu.com

IMdb.com

Interview with RUBICON Peter Nashel

Review of ZORRO DVD

BAT MASTERSON THEME SONG